We are in that time of the year here in Northern Alberta where the days feel soooo slooooowww. And not in the “slow living” good way that we are all looking for. Rather, in a mundane, the snow will never ever melt and the first day of planting season might as well be a million years away. Ha ha!
It’s this time of year that I find the most difficult to keep going in. We are past the comforting months of winter, where a freshly fallen snow is a welcome relief to the busy outdoor work of summer and fall. Where thoughts turn to Christmas and parties with friends and family, gift planning, special secrets being made and delightful meals being created. Twinkling lights on a cold December evening and hot cider with visiting friends while frost builds up on the edges of the windows.
As Valentine’s Day rolls past and we head into March, these sentiments fade and impatience settles into my soul as I begrudgingly remind myself spring is still three months away. I’m often stopping at windows and looking longingly out at the garden, covered in multiple feet of icy topped snow. The melt and freeze creating slippery walking paths, making a simple trip out doors a harrowing task of precision balancing.
In some ways, this is just the worst time of the year to be a mom of littles trying to keep up the momentum of school here on our remote northern homestead. The out of doors becomes a slick unwelcoming, inaccessible arctic tundra and the cozy indoors becomes a complication of messes and school books.
My motivation for 15 minute deep cleans and keeping up with our rule of cleaning one set of toys before getting out another set, wanes deeply. Even my Five Thing Rule becomes difficult to incorporate some days.
At one point in the day I sighed and said to myself, “oh it just feels like we are existing today!” You know those days, where there is certainly much to do and much to learn, but creative thought runs dry and even the simple task of making supper looms ahead like a muddy brick stuck in a dirty puddle.
For some reason I thought about the story of Joseph and how he was imprisoned for two years for…being honorable of all things.
And Paul, often imprisoned, even on a ship, that wrecked, and he could have escaped but chose not to?!
And what about Mary. The Mother of God. Pregnancy after pregnancy, meager living, perhaps not much support in many of their circumstances. How did she respond to mundane days where it seemed nothing would change, nothing would get better, and they might in fact fail.
It always astounds me that Jesus was raised in a poor family that never saw wealth EVEN though they raised the Son of God. Their lives were very meager and insignificant; a life of constant struggle most likely to provide food for the table and shelter for a large family.
And yet, each of those people glorified and pleased God. They experienced true, deep and meaningful joy!
Simple, everyday, and even intolerable years of quiet unseen suffering and yet… they pleased God. Their circumstance and reliance on Him, pleased Him and worshiped Him even though to the eye of the world it looked like they were doing pretty much “nothing”.
I cannot think of any reason why God wouldn’t do this in our lives today when He allowed the people He chose to raise His Son to live that way. Why do I think He would save me from the mundane? For even in successful careers and busy calendars, there are times life can feel mundane.
Which got me to thinking that… I wonder if even simply existing is a glory to God. That person in a wheel chair, the one in a coma, the partially formed baby in the womb, the blind, the deaf, the brain damaged, the suffering…the situations that we as humans don’t see the point in, we feel we must heal them, we feel there MUST be a miracle of success that if we just pray the right prayer, have the right faith, circumstances will change.
But what if, even when we find ourselves in a place where we can do nothing but tolerate our circumstances, we are in fact living to the glory and pleasure of God? Not the world’s ideas of success, surely , but God doesn’t think like the world.
As I pondered these things while my kids picked up their stations for the day and I procrastinated starting supper, a soft snow began to fall outside my kitchen window. “Oh great,” I thought, “just what we need. MORE snow!” Sigh. Hmmm. I looked down at my hardwood floor. The very same hardwood floor I thought I would never be able to afford, and now I’m standing on it. The beautiful thick blue tile in my bathrooms, the large thick solid wood table I asked my husband to build me after we had our 6th baby, the live wood edge accent on my apron front kitchen sink my husband painstakingly made for me, the back drop of the dark green metal of the shop I thought we’d never build against the soft falling snow. Hmm. Something shifted in my spirit.
Not guilt, because I don’t think God’s convictions come with guilt. But certainly a slight reprimand.
Looking out the window again at my large gardens, yes they took years of work and struggle, but I’m amazed I have them all the same.
The house, the greenhouse, the backdrop of poplar trees and frosted green spruce. There was a time we searched for land and got turned down repeatedly because we couldn’t afford it. There was a time we were eating pancakes everyday because we couldn’t afford groceries and barely paid rent, there was a time we had no yard and lived along a busy highway because it’s all we could afford, there was a time we got turned down for a mortgage to build our home, there was a time we nearly lost everything to a flood, to a wild fire, to a disgruntled boss threatening to sue us.
But I guess in short, those just were the paths God wanted us on. Those insurmountable things that we could not control just simply weren’t things God was going to allow to dictate our lives. Or let others’ dictate our lives for that matter.
I am often stuck in my mind trying to process that confusing edge between God’s plan and worldly realities.
Which holds more weight for us? I have seen people work hard and live moral upstanding lives… and then suffer. I have seen people lie, cheat and steal… only to flourish.
I could spend hours cutting back the weeds in my garden mulling over these concepts. Hours. And maybe one day, a loooong time from now, when my children are grown and I have more time, perhaps, I will. Perhaps my children will come to visit me and only ever find me in the garden, processing the complexities of life.
Well anyway, that soft falling snow… brought me back to reality and noticing that even under some very real difficulties, I have my home, and land and family and a fridge full of food to nourish that family.
Yes, we worked hard to build it all ourselves and we still work hard to maintain and offset costs… but the truth of being blessed still remains because it really never should have happened. Based on worldly circumstance and where we live, it really was an impossible task… and yet, here I am, complaining about more snow, and a mundane unsatisfying day.
My husband came in from a day of processing firewood with our two older kids, my younger kids cleaned up their toys and put away books, my middle kids began helping me with supper… the day moved ahead, the snow fell softly, the sun even peeked out a bit from behind the clouds.
I noticed the day was longer, as we head oh so slowly towards spring in the northern hemisphere. My home settled into a steady hum and comforting rhythm of late afternoon tasks that escorted us quietly into a soft evening.
I think sometimes it’s the transitions in life that wake us up and remind us that we are in fact moving forward. Each day, we are in fact not living mundane lives, but rather we are weaving stories together that echo through to eternity.
I often wonder how we will feel about our life here when we are in heaven. Our decisions and daily habits will leave marks on our souls that form us. I find this intimidating and yet hopeful. Hopeful in that even the mundane holds a great deal of meaning, glory and pleasure to God.
The world has removed meaning from the Home, from Motherhood, from the Simple Everyday things that make up our lives. But these simple “mundane” things are in fact a service and worship that makes God happy.
Anyone can study to be a doctor, a researcher, an architect… any career really. But the making of a home? A haven, a place for children to grow into healthy adults. The ability to tolerate the slow lagging days, to smile through constant pain, to feel our value amd worth even when all we can do is lie down and run our home from bed.
This is a career where each woman, each parent is uniquely irreplaceable. It happens everyday since the beginning of time. Like childbirth. Speak to any woman about how they brought their children into the world and you will see the unique beauty of her situation and circumstance there in her eyes. As if she birthed the first child of the world. It’s as it should be, for she brings forth a soul and the home we create, the beauty and good we pursue in teaching and raising that soul echos through eternity and is in fact the greatest, most important, and world changing career of all time.
I hope if your day feels mundane that you’re able to embrace it and see the great work you do for society in the way you handle your days, family, children and self in the Home and out of it each and every day.
Warmest Blessings,
Ashley
